News Flash...

I like to be in charge.

OK maybe that's not a news flash to anyone, but I was thinking about it this morning. I've been freaking out lately that this pregnancy is going by too quickly (apparently I've started the seventh month...) and I've been anxious about getting a new place (we have to move out of this place by June because it's student housing).

I say it's just because there's just so much to do (and there is) or because the new (amazing) apartment we found is not set in stone yet (it isn't - we sign the lease tomorrow evening) or because I'm worried about Bryan's and my schoolwork (which is sort of ridiculous, actually... we're both fine). But the truth is, I'm just not trusting God enough right now. It's so funny how in these times of craziness I always see how much I need Him, and how much I should be relying on him (because I can't do this on my own), but these are also the times I try the hardest to stand on my own two feet. I need to let it go and realize that things will be taken care of.

Sometimes I justify my anxiety by saying "I can't just sit around and do nothing; God does require action." And I think that's true to some extent, but it's also a cop out, because that is never my problem. It's not like I'm sitting here willy nilly not thinking about any of it, not planning any of it. I overthink and overplan. I think I need to table that counterargument until the argument becomes reality. If that makes sense.

Anyway, just a thought. Pray for me to let it go and trust the Creator of the Universe to be able to arrange my pitiful life.