Too many kids?

Twice, today, when I told someone that I went to a Thanksgiving full of 40 of my friends and probably 1/3 of those were kids, the response was, "Wow. That's way too many kids." The first time was a middle-aged, single secretary. I laughed it off, even while I was slightly hurt, because those are my friends' kids - I would even say those kids are my friends. I love them all like they are nieces and nephews, and I can't imagine a holiday without them.

The second time was an associate at the client at The Deal, at the bar where we were all having drinks celebrating the closing of The Deal. (Yes, The Deal closed and I am so happy!) I responded with, "Well, two of them were mine, so that helps." He obviously had no idea that I had children and then asked a million questions, including the Big One: "How do you possibly juggle a demanding job with two small children?" (This is a question that on the one hand I appreciate because it recognizes the reality that This.Is.Hard - but on the other hand resent a little bit because he would never have asked it if I were a man...) He then went on to describe his Thanksgiving weekend, which involved an impromptu trip to Florida for the weekend, with "Because I don't have kids" thrown in.

I left feeling a little bit defeated, wondering how I can live in this BigLaw world with BigLaw clients and also be the wife and mother and PERSON I want to be. The interaction bothered me the whole commute home.

And then I came home to a sweet-smelling baby just out of the bath, snuggled her in the rocking chair and sang her a thousand songs, kissed her cheeks and made her giggle, got some sweet slobbery kisses, and laid her in her crib, happy and snug. And then I played Play-Doh with a very excited preschooler who decided to tell me all about her day while serving me green Play-Doh "beans" and trading colors with me every time I made something she liked. And then I gave that preschooler a bath, put her hair in rag curls, snuggled her while I massaged her hands, read her Amelia Bedelia (for the ten millionth time this month), had a long conversation about preschool while she sat on the potty, watched her tackle her Daddy, and snuggled her in her bed and sang HER a thousand songs and prayed with her about her curtains and her stuffed turtle (you know, the important things).

And all of that other stuff didn't matter. And I felt sorry for that secretary and that associate who don't know just how precious THIS stuff is.

Green Pastures and Still Waters

Work has been insane. August started crazy, and it only got busier and busier, culminating in a week of barely seeing my kids awake and thinking about nothing but The Deal. Or The Other Deal. Or That Other Thing I Don't Physically Have Time To Do Because of The Deal and The Other Deal. In the three years I've been practicing, I've never been that busy. Thankfully, The Deal is almost finished, and the lawyers' role has wound down significantly (this is good, both for our client and for my own sanity - it's a good deal, and I've learned a ton, but WOW it's been stressful).

At one point I emailed Psalm 23 to myself, just to remind myself that this will.not.last.forever. I have prayed so often over the past three months for some green pastures and still waters.

I left work on Wednesday at 5:00, and didn't take a shred of work home. Thought about it, but decided if I brought something home I'd probably do it, and I know everything can sit until Monday and be just fine. And I have had exactly ZERO work-free weekends since the middle of August. I needed to chill out.

And chill, I have. I don't want a huge journal-like post here, because that's interesting to nobody, but here's my long weekend so far in bullets (yes, it's been just as relaxing and perfect as it sounds!) If I feel like it later, I'll post a few pictures. :) Stay tuned.

• Wednesday night I sat on my couch for three hours watching sitcoms and crocheting. Didn't think about work at all, other than to notice I wasn't thinking about it. :)
  
• Thursday morning we slept in (until 8:00 or so... but still...)
• I took a nap on Thursday BEFORE eating any turkey.
• We had our Thanksgiving meal with a large group of our good friends (40 people in one house - it was crowded but so, so joyful. I come from a big family, I love crowded.)
• Thursday night I got to sew for the first time in 6 months or something. I made crib rail covers for Leah's crib - she's started chewing on the sides.
• Friday - one of my FAVORITE days of the year - we picked out our Christmas tree and put up our decorations. We do this every year on Black Friday afternoon and I hope we do it forever.
• Last night Bryan surprised me on the way home from the tree place by swinging by the store to buy some nice wine and stinky cheese - I've been craving a nice, relaxing night at home with him for a looooong time. I literally almost cried when he told me he was taking the night off and we could just hang out together and put up all of the Christmas stuff and talk about our plans for the girls' Christmas (we are way behind on that last one).
  
• This morning we went to the Children's Museum. This was only our second time going there, and I don't know why we waited so long to start. We are thinking about getting a membership there. It's an AWESOME place. Eden and Leah both loved it. Plus, we ran into one of her friends from school, so that was cute.
• Now I'm headed to the couch for a nap, then some more play time with my girls, and then probably some more crafting tonight - I have a number of projects now on my list.

Oh how I needed this. I am so incredibly thankful for the gift of green pastures and still waters, populated with my sweet little family and very little else.

Poetry

I'm thankful for the poetry in my heart. It no longer makes its way to a pen and paper very often, and usually it is snippets of ideas - thoughts, images, feelings. Mostly it's moments of realization that, broken as this world is, there is real good here - God is present. It makes my heart so happy that it's there.

Today - walking through Porter Square on a warm autumn day, surrounded by Canterbrigians at their finest (local elections are today) and feeling the bright sun on my face.

This past weekend - sitting cross-legged in my favorite chair, holding my squishy, sweet baby and feeding her a bottle, watching Bryan and Eden laugh in the dining room as they bake cookies together.

That's what poetry is to me - everything falls together and it's all so perfect I want to freeze it. Details of the simple joys in my experience. Oh how blessed I feel!!