Ugh.

Warning: TMI. But not too-TMI. It's a gratuitous pregnancy-related post. But it's my blog, so I can talk about whatever I want. So there. At least I warned you! :)

So, seriously, I forgot how much the first trimester of pregnancy S.U.C.K.S. And it seems like this pregnancy is harder than the first one. For example:

Nausea: Constant. Nausea. It gets better, it gets waaaay worse, but it is CONSTANT. This is nothing new, but the puking/dry heaving is. It's only happened a couple of times (I know, I should not complain) but it sucks.
Exhaustion: Constant. Exhaustion. Doesn't really get better, especially when working. With Eden I was in school, and I'd just skip class if I was tired. (And I did - often). But I don't have that luxury now, and I feel guilty even leaving work a little early. Plus, I've been super busy. Also with Eden I didn't have a toddler to chase around when I was at home... so that makes a difference.
Constipation: This is new. And very unwelcome. Thankfully I think I've figured out how to beat it, but whew. The first few weeks were not fun.
Getting fat: with Eden I lost 5 lbs in the first trimester, and I was worried about it. But I found those 5 lbs. And I'm three weeks away from the end of the first trimester! (Of course, I started out a lot smaller than I was when I got pregnant with Eden - I am still not at my end-of-first-trimester weight...) With the weight gain and the bloating, I started getting a little pooch way sooner. Took a picture at 7.5 weeks - and it looked like this. Le sigh.

OK, enough complaining. Really, in spite of all of this negative stuff, I sometimes get lost in the magic of it all. There is a prune-sized person inside of me. And I really do love that. As much as the pooch is a little frightening, I also love knowing that is my baby in there making itself known.

And the whole second-pregnancy thing has its advantages: I'm not freaking out about every little thing, I don't have to google every little thing, and ... drumroll .... I think I might have felt the first little movement? Yesterday morning I was lying in bed, still and quiet but awake (Eden was in bed with us, playing on her "phone"). All of a sudden, very light, barely there, I felt a flutter. And another. It was too light to be gas, too deep to be a muscle spasm or something. It seems crazy, because it's so early (9 weeks?). I felt Eden move for the first time at 15 weeks. Maybe I'm feeling movement sooner this time because my uterus is tilted forward (according to my PCP) and I know better what I am feeling for? Or maybe I'm crazy?

Anyway... That's the story. Whew. It's nice to get all that out. Thanks for listening. :)

Surprise...

I'm holding out on you, Internet. About something kind of big. Well, it's kind of small right now, I guess, but pretty life-changing. And even though I'm writing this down right now, I am going to wait a while to publish it, so I'm still going to be holding out on you. But here it goes:

So, notwithstanding Bryan's and my decision to put off having another child or at least wait another year or more, it appears I am pregnant. Well, more than appears. I am pregnant. How did this happen? Well, you'll have to ask your mother for that answer. But here is the story of how I knew and how we feel about it. (Sorry for the long post, bear with me - I wanted to get this all down before I lose the details):

Let's just say our birth control method made it very clear that there was a chance I might be pregnant, right away. But we'd been here many times before and obviously things turned out differently, so while we were aware of the possibility and certainly careful (avoiding that glass of wine with dinner, etc) I knew that there was only - at most - a 20% chance. And given that we affirmatively tried for nine months with Miss Eden, I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant. But then, one Friday at work, I had to go to the bathroom literally every hour. And then - this is the kicker - I was craving mint gum (I HATE MINT GUM!). That made me really suspicious. The next day I bought a test, even though I wasn't yet late, and decided (stupidly) to take it during Eden's nap, while Bryan was away from home working. When I saw it was positive I started to freak out a little bit. I was shaking and barely holding it together as I called Bryan and asked him to come home. He could tell something was up, I was crying a little bit, and he said, "Did you take a test?". Um, yes. He knew right away.

He came home, we started to talk about all the positive things about this (and there are many - the timing is actually really great for spacing, maternity leave, Bryan's hopeful future job, etc and at least that talk is over) and we started to feel better.

We told J&K that night (we were having dinner together anyway). I told Kel I'd found out about someone at church that was preggo and made her guess who. After being assured it was OK for me to spill the beans on this person, she and John spent about 10 minutes guessing and guessing, incorrectly. I told them it was a second baby and then they spent the next 5 minutes guessing and guessing incorrectly, the same people over and over. Finally I told them the person *might* be in the room and they freaked out. It was awesome.

I had my first doctor's appointment (with my PCP - we didn't even have an OB because with Eden I saw the student center practice and wasn't totally impressed) on June 4, and the doc said I was measuring big - once we confirmed that it was extremely unlikely I had the dates wrong, he thought it might be (i) my super-stretchy uterus from having an 8lb 10oz baby two years ago; (ii) twins; or (iii) something else which we didn't even want to discuss. So I was scheduled for an ultrasound on June 7 to confirm dates and number. I was exactly 6 weeks at that point. That ultrasound revealed one little peanut, and we saw a sweet little heartbeat, so we were getting pretty relaxed. And then the doctor called back and said the baby's heart rate was a little slower than they'd like to see. We were scheduled for another ultrasound on Friday, June 11. This meant 4 days of nervous waiting.

The second ultrasound showed a nice strong heartbeat, right in the range they'd like to see (they want it to be over 100, the first one was 95, this one was 118). This means the prognosis is very good; if this had been the first ultrasound it would have been no problem. The whole experience was a little terrifying, but in a weird way it was good - facing something like that made us (at least me) realize I wanted this baby. THIS baby. And it knit Bryan and me together on this subject, made us lean on each other. We are at our best when we are on the same side in some adversity (maybe that's how we're designed, maybe it's also from our days at the pizza joint - us versus the million orders at once on a Friday night), and this was no exception.

Given my over-planning nature and the very unplanned nature of this pregnancy, I think we can all rest assured this is God's gift to us (not that Eden wasn't, of course...). Funny story, (maybe TMI, but whatever) I had a dream a few weeks before Mother's Day that Bryan's gift to me was him telling me he wanted to have another baby. It just so happened that Bryan did not actually give me that as a gift but, um, Mother's Day turned out to be the most pivotal day in the whole deal.

Like I said, we're getting used to the idea. We talk about the baby, we are trying to come up with possible names, we are telling our family and closest friends, and we are making plans for our lives for after the big day.

Which, by the way, is scheduled for sometime around January 31, 2011.

You're Two!!

Sweet Eden,

I can't believe how quickly the last two years have gone. But at the same time, it almost seems like you've been this fun and independent since the very beginning.

You have grown into a full-fledged toddler. You are constantly exploring, figuring things out (most recently, how to get your head (but not your arms) out of your night shirt) and learning new words! We really understand most of what you say now, even if some of your "words" are your own special language. You call any smallish, roundish fruit a "boobay" (blueberry) and - maybe my favorite - you call the vacuum cleaner a "back-a-roon". Other times, though, it is very clear what you're saying, like a couple of Sundays ago on the way to church when you very excitedly said, "Mama! Look! A bicycle!" You're also talking in simple sentences much of the time now, like a few days ago when you woke up and said "I want to ride bus", or yesterday in the midst of potty training when you said "Mama I pee couch".

You're learning the polite little phrases we say - you are surprisingly good at saying "thank you" (we very rarely have to prompt you) and pretty good at "please." Occasionally we will hear "'cuse me", but my favorite is "bless you" after someone sneezes (we didn't even teach you that - you picked it up on your own!).

You love to read books, and your current favorite is "Mr. Brown can Moo - Can You?" - you know every sound and point at all the pictures and name the objects. Recently when you get to the last page you say "How about you?"

You are obsessed with babies. You love to put your dolls to sleep. You will pick a doll up and pat its back, make a "shhhh" sound, and then cradle it, sing "Sunshine.... Happy.... Gray.... Yuh You.... A-WAY" and then lay it in its bed, cover with a blanket, and say "night-night."

You also love Nino, our cat. You ask at least three times a day to give him a "treat" and you have to give it to him in the same spot on the corner of the living room rug every time. He thinks it's a pretty good deal, except he has to wait forever to get the treat until the circumstances are just so.

You have your favorite people, who all we have to do is mention and you start going crazy. Of course, one is "Bubba", who has been a favorite for a LONG time. I love seeing you see him - your eyes light up and you never run faster than when you're running into his arms! He is six years older than you, and calls you his little princess. It's adorable how much you love each other! You also adore his older sister Hannah, and we can't talk about one of them without the other. Our new downstairs neighbors have a little boy you call "Baby" and you love his daddy "Dim" (Jimmy). You also find literally hours of enjoyment each day in standing at the window, looking out, and yelling at Bob, our next door neighbor - "Hi Bob! Hi Bob! Hi Bob!" (Also favorite - but not real: Caillou ("I want watch Caillou") and Elmo).

We gave you my old iPod Touch with a bunch of toddler apps on it, and you have that thing figured out. You can turn it on and off, start and stop apps, and play pretty much all the games without help (this is really great when you wake up at 5:30 am ready to play and Daddy and I are still sleepy - we can put you in our bed, give you your "phone" and you're good to go for another 30-45 minutes).

There are so many amazing things you do, so many things you love, I could sit here all day and not even list them all. Suffice it to say, you are incredibly fun and it just keeps getting better and better. We love just watching you interact with the world, and, as I always say, we can't wait to see what is next.

Love you Little Missy!

Mommy


P.S. This morning you went diaper-free for 6 hours. With ZERO accidents. Way to go, big girl!

9 Years

It's hard to believe we've been married almost a decade.

But at the same time, I can't imagine life without you.

We have grown up together, literally, in the past nine years. And we're still doing it. We're not even close to the same people as those two crazy eighteen-year-olds clinging together against the world.

But you still give me butterflies, I still get lost in those beautiful brown eyes, and I still adore you. And even better, you've shown me a million more sides of you to love. And I'd marry you again in a heartbeat.

Thank you for the last 1/3 of my life, Love.

The Perfect Weekend

So... I've been a little bit of a Debbie Downer lately, huh?

Sorry about that.

It turns out, I write better when I'm a little down. And I feel the need to write more when I'm a little down. But those were two slightly melancholy moments in a very happy few weeks. And just to prove I can be chipper, here's an account of The Best Weekend Ever.

We didn't have anything scheduled all day Saturday. Right, you heard me, nothing on our agenda (OK, Bryan had to run a couple of quick errands... but it was fine - I'll get to that.)

We started the awesomeness by waking up a little later than normal - 7:30ish - and taking our time getting up and ready. Around 10:15 we headed to the park. It was 70 degrees and sunny! Spring!! But Eden scoffed at the cute little white, wide-brim sunhat I had for her. Nope, she wanted to wear her winter hat:

We had an awesome time at the park; it's been quite a while since I've been able to go with Bryan and Eden to the park, so it was really fun for me to get to push her on the swings and catch her at the bottom of the slides! We ran around like crazy, and worked up an apetite for our yummy sushi lunch. Eden tried some California Roll and loved it! Bryan remarked we have a little yuppy baby on our hands. ;)

After lunch, we hit the slides a few more times and then drove home so Little Missy could have a nap. Bryan went to run some errands for work, and I watched a girlie movie while she slept (Practical Magic - and now I've got that song stuck in my head - you know the one, "Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up..."). Eden woke up, Bryan got home, and the movie ended all in perfect timing... ahh.... and we headed out again.

Our local ice cream shop is shutting its doors and moving to the town center, so we had to walk there one last time to partake in the yumminess! I had to go full-on, since it was the end of the road, so I got a sundae. Yumm!!

Then we headed home and had a delish steak dinner with our downstairs neighbor and our landlord (who is also our downstairs-downstairs neighbor) to say goodbye. Downstairs neighbor is moving out at the end of the week! We are sad to see her go - she is super nice - but we are excited about the new neighbors too - they are about our age, from Oklahoma (who knew?), and have a little boy two weeks younger than Eden. So awesome. Also, I think they're Republican. :)

End of the day: in bed before 10. NICE.

Sunday Bryan didn't have to be to church as early as normal because he wasn't playing drums, so we were able to drive there together. Which means the morning went much more smoothly than normal because there were two of us getting Little Missy ready.

The service was nice; the sermon (you can download it from the church's website or search iTunes for "Hope Fellowship Church") sparked a long conversation between Bryan and me (well, sparked the continuation of a conversation we've had off and on for about two and a half years) about our decision to stay here, to not move to Portland to start a church with J&B. I'd tried to get a job there, but to no avail. Turns out they didn't want to hire a 3L from Oklahoma who went to school on the east coast and spent the summer at a Boston firm but wanted to move to Portland so she and her husband could help start a CHURCH. Goodness, I can't imagine why. But that left us with no certain income, with a baby on the way, and knowing only a few people. The rational, responsible minds in us couldn't justify moving across the country under those circumstances. So we decided to stay. And we are glad we did - we still believe we made the right decision. BUT. When we talk about people like Nehemiah who took big risks and faced serious adversity for God's work, it makes us question our reasoning. We don't believe that we should take risk for the sake of taking risk, and we believe we were honestly trying to discern God's will in that situation and make the right choice in an agonizing decision, and, again, we believe we ended up right where we're supposed to be, but I wonder whether we made the choice for the right reasons. Curtis also mentioned in his sermon, though, that God needs people in Boston too! People to plant themselves here, to grow deep roots, and love this city in His Name! And we are doing that, joyfully. That makes us feel a lot better.

Anyway, after church Eden and I headed home, while Bryan worked, and she took a nap while I watched Mulan (I had never seen it, and it was interesting... I was sort of conflicted about its message...). Eden woke up, and out we went again for a little shopping trip (Friends and Family week at Gap ended yesterday and we had to take advantage!). Eden was rockin' the shades again, and looking like a twenty-two year old:

She was awesome at the mall. Total angel. Stayed in the stroller, chatted away but didn't scream once. Of course, the five pounds of Cheerios and four slices of apple helped.

After that, Bryan headed back to work (church) and we Skyped with my parents. And I got to see my little brother, who is back stateside from Japan!! Yipee! He's moving up to the northeast very soon - I'm excited about that! Eden was a little crazy on Skype - she had a lot of energy after being such an angel at the mall. But she sat down long enough to have a tea party with Grandpa, which he loved:

Inspired by Lag Liv and others, I tried baking a spaghetti squash for the first time. I must say, it was yummy! I roasted it whole at 400 degrees for 50 minutes, and it was a little crunchy. I think I could probably get it softer if I cut it in half first, but I kind of liked it crunchy. I went easy on the toppings, just a little dried basil, some lemon juice, and asiago (oh how I love asiago). It was pretty good:

Eden ate a little, but turned up her nose after a little bit and asked for "Os" (surprising, I know, since she already ate 5 pounds at the mall, but whatever). I gave her some Os with milk, and she downed three bowls. Including drinking the milk like a champ:

Bryan got home just as Eden was coming out of the bathtub, Eden went down super easy, and I was in bed again before 10! Yipee!

Woke up this morning refreshed and ready to face the week, despite the cold I am valiantly battling, my super-sore shoulder (from an H1N1 vaccination... four weeks ago... more on that later, maybe...), and the twenty-degrees cooler weather. It's amazing what a great weekend can do.

My Mother's Legacy

I have not seen my mother - the woman who carried me in her womb, dreaming of who I would become, who labored and strained to bring me into this world, who nursed me, who taught me to braid and who used to lovingly stroke my forehead and kiss my cheek - in ten years. She lives with her three children from her second marriage in my hometown (the "big town" near my hometown), next door to my grandmother, whom I visit every time I am in Oklahoma. It isn't an access problem. I haven't visited her because the other side of my mother is too difficult to remember - the screaming, the hitting, the insulting, the ponytail yanking side. That is the side that tried repeatedly to take her own life, including once while I sat huddled beneath my covers trembling and terrified, afraid to breathe. The memory of that mother gives me anxiety attacks when I hear her voice.

But no matter the negative legacy my mother has given me, I was old enough when she walked out of my life (at age 12) to have some loving, fond memories, and an appreciation for certain things she taught me, things she passed along to her lookalike dauhter.

She showed me what motherly tenderness could be. When she wasn't angry, when she wanted to, she could be very sweet to me. I remember after she left I would lay in bed at night and try to relive certain moments: like the times I sat on the bathroom countertop for her to curl my hair, or the last night we lived in the same house, when she tearfully gave me the ring she had received from her mother, an heirloom she had always been planning to pass along but had intended to wait to give me until I was sixteen. I would close my eyes and remember her goodbye: she thought I was asleep as she sat on the side of my bed and stroked my hair, brushing my bangs off of my forehead, and I kept my eyes closed and my breathing even and tried to record the moment in my memory. (Even now when I do that to Eden it takes me back to that moment fifteen years ago). I have been lucky enough in my life to have many positive, nurturing women who have taken me under their wings and taught me how to truly nurture another person, but there is no substitute for a mother's tender hand.

She gave me my blue eyes. Her family is full of blue eyes - her father had them, her broher had them, all of my cousins had them - but I am the only one who inherited them from her and I love them. They make me feel connected in some weird way to that half of me.

She taught me to love reading. She read to me constantly from a very young age, and I remember by the time I started kindergarten I could already write all of my letters and could even read a little, even without the benefit of preschool. She was also a writer; she drafted a manuscript for a book (she never let me read it; she said it was too old, too heavy for me). I read letters and poetry she wrote. I kept letters she wrote to me and the creases are worn from my constant rereading. My love of the written word and my knowledge that my mother was a writer led me to constantly express myself in writing also. I wrote my first poem one afternoon just before she left, and her pride spurred me on more than anyone else's could. Although I don't have the opportunity to write creatively very often anymore, it is a truly precious part of my life and I still think in poetry (or at least somewhat poetic prose) sometimes.

While I cannot yet bring myself to quite say I'm really thankful for the "other" side of her, that part of my life is a huge part of who I am now, and some of that is good too: it taught me how not to respond in anger, it taught me compassion and bravery as I took blows for my little sister, and it made me firm in my conviction that I want my daughter to always know I love her more than I can say.

I am truly thankful for my mother. Maybe one day I will be strong enough to resume some sort of relationship, but for now I will leave it at forgiveness (if not complete forgetfulness) for the negative and appreciation and thankfulness for the positive parts of her legacy to me.

Flood

I can go days - weeks - without breaking down at the memory of Eden's burns. I can massage her scars two, three times a day. I can squeeze her chubby little hands into her pressure garments. I can comment on how much progress she has made (and she really has) and I can give updates to all of those in our lives who love us and ask.

And then, waiting for the bus, an ambulance drives by, lights flashing. And I stand there at the bus stop, two short blocks from where an ambulance much like that one stopped to pick up my baby, and I lose it. All of a sudden, it is September 10 again. And then I have to ride the bus and the T, and as we approach Park Street I am barely holding back the flood. I'm holding my breath and gripping my phone, just waiting for it to vibrate, half expecting Bryan to call all over again.

I know it is silly, and honestly it is much better, much easier now. Most of the time I am fine - most of the time when I think about that day, that whole experience, I am overwhelmed with gratitude to our community - here in Boston, back in Oklahoma, and all over the world - who wrapped us up in their arms and hearts. Time and prayer are healing all three of us. But days like this still happen, and remind me that healing is a process. We are not there yet.

The good news is, Eden is doing so great. And she has no memory of it as far as we can tell. She is growing up so fast; I know it is important to stay in the present, to forget what happened before and focus on the precious little person she is right now. And oh she is precious!

Sweet, sweet sleep

Not a lot to say right now (actually, I have a lot to say but not the time to write it down)...

But I will leave you with a picture of my sweet girl after church on Sunday - she was SACKED OUT. Playing with the big kids always does this to her:

(My apologies for the blatant Facebook-status-update-ripoff. I needed easy material, people. And that picture is AWESOME.)

What we've been up to / Random Thoughts

I've been terrible about blogging lately. The truth is I haven't really had the energy. It's one of those situations where I've waited so long that now there are a million things to update and the thought of it is just too daunting... To be honest, I didn't even send out Christmas cards this year! That's how crazy it's been!

NOTE: I drafted this post a couple of weeks ago. Since then, work EXPLODED (I am getting ready to start working now - procrastinating, actually). I updated a couple of items (for one, there is a new little man in our neighborhood) and then just published. Sorry it's not the most recent news, but it's news!

But things are good. Very good. Here's a general update:

-Our little girl is SO BIG. Her hair is long and curly down her back, she gets taller every day, and she talks constantly! Though we only understand about 5% of what she "says", she is learning to communicate very well. She has made up her own signs and words for things, and gets her point across pretty well, actually.

-We have successfully weaned Miss Eden from her beloved pacifier. I very carefully snipped the end of the "backup" paci (and put her usual one, unmarred, in the junk drawer in case of emergency) and gave it to her. She sucked for a few seconds, took it out, looked at it, showed it to me, and said "hot" (which means either "hot" or "I don't like this"). She held on to it though, and when I put her down to sleep with her lovey she took it with her. She screamed for about 15-20 minutes, which, to be honest, might have happened even with a real pacifier, and then I went in there and calmed her down, and she went to sleep! She clutched that paci right next to her face, but it wasn't in her mouth! A couple of rough(ish) nights later, she was completely fine!

-Work is crazy busy over the last couple of weeks, which I think is a good sign. December was very slow, but we took a vacation (more on that later) and the holidays meant all of our clients were on vacation (though I am told that is not always the case - apparently sometimes the second half of December can be pretty insane as people try to close deals by the end of the year). I am involved in several vastly different matters, and I am loving the stimulation and challenge each brings. I really do have the perfect job for me. :) I actually got to meet with some students in conjunction with HLS's new Problem-Solving Workshop for 1Ls, and it was really weird to be on the other side of the table, giving advice to these students about law school and the practice of law. Probably would make an interesting blog post, actually, because I was struck by how surprised they were that I was happy. I think that people have a pretty negative view of BigLaw, and I'm not sure it is merited (though I freely admit that I am starting out in a pretty terrible economic climate to be making generalizations about what life is like in BigLaw...)

- Bryan's still working part time on staff at our church, and he still loves his job. I think if he could do it full time he absolutely would. He's trying to decide what he wants to be when he grows up, but he has time to figure that out! There is one path in particular he's interested in, but more on that later...

- I might do a longer post on this later, but I keep getting asked when we are going to have another baby... and the truth is, we're not sure we are ever going to have another baby. There are a lot of complex reasons going into that decision, and, like I said, I might post on this later, but suffice it to say for now, barring divine intervention either changing our hearts or creating an "oops" situation, for right now we're pretty happy with just the three of us (and Nino...).

- We spent the week before Christmas with family back in Oklahoma. It was really nice. We got to see my little brothers, both of whom are veterans since I last saw them. It was the first time all 5 kids had been together in I think 3 years? It was pretty great, actually. My sister threw a big party for my newest-returned brother and we all gathered at her house around pans and pans of yummy enchiladas!

-We spent Christmas at home in Boston again, which I L-O-V-E. It is soooo nice to wake up in our own comfy beds and have a slow, relaxing Christmas morning as a family. This year Kel's parents and sister came up to see her, since she was getting dangerously close to the "no-fly" part of pregnancy (with precious little Quinn - see below!), and we got to spend some time with them, including yummy meals!

- I've been singing again. Since we switched to three services at church, I haven't really been able to sing with the band (it's hard because that is a loooong day, and Bryan has to be there anyway, so Eden has to be there too, and there is only childcare for the 1st service). But a couple of weeks ago I was on the schedule, and Bryan and I made it work with Eden, and it was amazing. I missed it so much. There is just something about being able to use this instrument God gave me to help lead a congregation in worship, and standing in the front and being able to hear all of those beautiful voices praising together that speaks sweetly to my soul.

- I threw a baby shower for Kel a month or so ago. Ruthless came up and helped, and Kelly P and Laura H made food - which was a HUGE help. It was really classy, and very fun. It was great timing. Kel and I went to get pedicures two weeks later and BAM, out came little Quinn! :) (OK, not exactly like that, but he's here and he's adorable and we are so excited to love on him and see John and Kel as parents!)

- Now I am planning another (Jack and Jill!) baby shower for my sweet friend Kim - and I can't wait. I wish I could share all of the details but I want it to be a surprise and Kim reads this blog, so you'll have to wait until after March 6 to see the pictures! :) But it's going to be great.

There have been a million other things I have wanted to post about and I promise I haven't completely lost my reflective side, I have just had other things taking up my time! But I promise I'm reading your blogs, and I am staying relatively plugged in on Facebook, so know I haven't lost touch.

Hopefully getting this monster post off my chest will help me plug back in to the blogsphere.

18 months!

Sweet Eden,

You’re a year and a half old now and you are definitely a toddler! You’re an expert walker and runner; you can even walk backwards now! My favorite mobility-related move is when you get a book, bring it to me, and back up to sit in my lap, your bottom all stuck out and leading your way!

You love to dance; any time there is music going, you will stop what you’re doing, bend over, and shake your arms and head to the beat. You’ve got rhythm, baby girl! It’s adorable!
You have really started talking a lot. You’ve added a bunch of words to your vocabulary (including “dance” of course). I love listening to your little voice! You’ve started replacing some signs with words (like “more” and “eat”) and you’re putting words together. Yesterday you saw Daddy’s hat and you said, “Hat. Daddy. Bye-bye.” It’s so amazing to see your little mind make connections!!

You are expressing your (STRONG) will more and more, especially during diaper changes. For some reason you really, really hate having your diaper changed. I think it’s because you don’t like to sit still. Last weekend we started trying to potty train you. Daddy brought a potty home on Christmas Eve and we let you go diaper-free periodically over the next few days. You love your potty; if we ask you to sit on it you’ll happily sit, and you even go in there by yourself to have a seat sometimes! On Saturday you finally used the potty and I got VERY excited. You didn’t think it was such a big deal. And about 2 hours later I was cleaning up a puddle. Oh well. It’s a process!

You are so much fun, sweet girl. There is so much I would like to tell you about yourself but I couldn’t even express half of the things I enjoy about being around you. You’re so happy and excited and giggly most of the time, it is impossible not to smile. You explore everything and it is really refreshing to see things through your little eighteen-month-old eyes, to watch you figure things out.

Your hands and arms are healing beautifully - my, you're fearfully and wonderfully made! You will always be able to tell you were burned, but you won't notice right away and the scars will not interfere with daily function. You are dealing pretty well with the continued scar management issues. We're doing massage on your scars at least twice a day, and you're becoming slightly more tolerant; in fact you know getting a massage comes with watching a little TV (a REAL treat) so you sometimes willingly grab the Eucerin cream, take it to the couch, climb up, and point to the TV!

I love you, Miss Eden. Keep learning and growing, but don’t grow up too fast! We love you just how you are!

Love,

Mommy