Surprise...

I'm holding out on you, Internet. About something kind of big. Well, it's kind of small right now, I guess, but pretty life-changing. And even though I'm writing this down right now, I am going to wait a while to publish it, so I'm still going to be holding out on you. But here it goes:

So, notwithstanding Bryan's and my decision to put off having another child or at least wait another year or more, it appears I am pregnant. Well, more than appears. I am pregnant. How did this happen? Well, you'll have to ask your mother for that answer. But here is the story of how I knew and how we feel about it. (Sorry for the long post, bear with me - I wanted to get this all down before I lose the details):

Let's just say our birth control method made it very clear that there was a chance I might be pregnant, right away. But we'd been here many times before and obviously things turned out differently, so while we were aware of the possibility and certainly careful (avoiding that glass of wine with dinner, etc) I knew that there was only - at most - a 20% chance. And given that we affirmatively tried for nine months with Miss Eden, I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant. But then, one Friday at work, I had to go to the bathroom literally every hour. And then - this is the kicker - I was craving mint gum (I HATE MINT GUM!). That made me really suspicious. The next day I bought a test, even though I wasn't yet late, and decided (stupidly) to take it during Eden's nap, while Bryan was away from home working. When I saw it was positive I started to freak out a little bit. I was shaking and barely holding it together as I called Bryan and asked him to come home. He could tell something was up, I was crying a little bit, and he said, "Did you take a test?". Um, yes. He knew right away.

He came home, we started to talk about all the positive things about this (and there are many - the timing is actually really great for spacing, maternity leave, Bryan's hopeful future job, etc and at least that talk is over) and we started to feel better.

We told J&K that night (we were having dinner together anyway). I told Kel I'd found out about someone at church that was preggo and made her guess who. After being assured it was OK for me to spill the beans on this person, she and John spent about 10 minutes guessing and guessing, incorrectly. I told them it was a second baby and then they spent the next 5 minutes guessing and guessing incorrectly, the same people over and over. Finally I told them the person *might* be in the room and they freaked out. It was awesome.

I had my first doctor's appointment (with my PCP - we didn't even have an OB because with Eden I saw the student center practice and wasn't totally impressed) on June 4, and the doc said I was measuring big - once we confirmed that it was extremely unlikely I had the dates wrong, he thought it might be (i) my super-stretchy uterus from having an 8lb 10oz baby two years ago; (ii) twins; or (iii) something else which we didn't even want to discuss. So I was scheduled for an ultrasound on June 7 to confirm dates and number. I was exactly 6 weeks at that point. That ultrasound revealed one little peanut, and we saw a sweet little heartbeat, so we were getting pretty relaxed. And then the doctor called back and said the baby's heart rate was a little slower than they'd like to see. We were scheduled for another ultrasound on Friday, June 11. This meant 4 days of nervous waiting.

The second ultrasound showed a nice strong heartbeat, right in the range they'd like to see (they want it to be over 100, the first one was 95, this one was 118). This means the prognosis is very good; if this had been the first ultrasound it would have been no problem. The whole experience was a little terrifying, but in a weird way it was good - facing something like that made us (at least me) realize I wanted this baby. THIS baby. And it knit Bryan and me together on this subject, made us lean on each other. We are at our best when we are on the same side in some adversity (maybe that's how we're designed, maybe it's also from our days at the pizza joint - us versus the million orders at once on a Friday night), and this was no exception.

Given my over-planning nature and the very unplanned nature of this pregnancy, I think we can all rest assured this is God's gift to us (not that Eden wasn't, of course...). Funny story, (maybe TMI, but whatever) I had a dream a few weeks before Mother's Day that Bryan's gift to me was him telling me he wanted to have another baby. It just so happened that Bryan did not actually give me that as a gift but, um, Mother's Day turned out to be the most pivotal day in the whole deal.

Like I said, we're getting used to the idea. We talk about the baby, we are trying to come up with possible names, we are telling our family and closest friends, and we are making plans for our lives for after the big day.

Which, by the way, is scheduled for sometime around January 31, 2011.