I am typing this email from a computer in Shriner's Hospital. Eden is walking around the playroom with Bryan, happily hugging him and listening to him bang on a drum. Her head is wrapped in gauze like a little helmet and her hands are covered by gauze and hospital socks to the elbow.
It all started Thursday morning. I was headed to work, and I was one subway stop away. I got a call from Bryan, so I answered the phone. All I could hear was Eden screaming and Bryan sobbing uncontrollably and asking, "What do I do?" I jumped off the train just before the doors closed, ran above ground, and searched desperately for a cab while I tried to get him to calm down enough to tell me what had happened. Eden burned herself on the glass of our gas fireplace. Bryan had turned it on because it was chilly in the morning, and had forgotten about it. (It was the first time in several months we'd had it on). He sat her down and went to the bathroom. Mere seconds later she was sitting in front of the fire staring at her burned hands and arms in shock and he was on the phone with me, holding her in the cold shower and trying to calm down enough to figure out what to do.
He called 911 and I got home in the cab just minutes after the ambulance got there. It was the most terrible cab ride I'd ever experienced, not quite knowing what was happening. I rode with her to Children's Hospital and had to lay on top of her while they tried to put in an IV. As soon as they got it in I passed out. Bryan had followed us in our car (our pastor lives just down the street and drove him) and he got there right after they'd put me in the bed next to Eden.
I was totally fine, just in shock at seeing my baby's palms all white and leathery and her forearms peeling away, and knowing she was screaming from pain and there was nothing I could do - I couldn't even hold her.
Eden, on the other hand, was badly burned. They immediately transferred us here (it is a pediatric burn hospital). It was several hours before they had her calm and her wounds dressed, and I finally got to hold my little girl.
She has very deep what used to be called second degree burns on her hands, forearms, and forehead. She is going into surgery at some point tomorrow for grafting.
I still can't really believe this is happening. Just a few days ago I was on my way to work, just thinking about all of the things I needed to get done before the weekend. Now here I am at a hospital computer, trying to hold it together for my little family's sake, and my little girls' chubby palms will never, ever look the same.
There is so much in my head, so much I could say about this whole ordeal. But for now I'll leave it at a positive. I am so thankful for the people who are getting us through this. Our community here has been so amazing. Even the nurses have mentioned how loved Eden must be. We have had multiple visitors every day. I remember 1L year mourning the fact that all of our good friends lived so far away. While many of our good friends, and all of our family, are still far away, we feel so enveloped in love right now it's honestly amazing.
God has been faithful in this. I have had moments, I admit, when I think "Why? Why is this happening to my baby girl?" and then I know that while there is an answer to that question, I don't know it, and that is ok. Because He knit her together in my womb, and He is working all things together for her good. And we serve Him (not the other way around).
It's hard to see my baby so hurt, but we're doing OK, and He is bringing much-needed peace.
If you're praying for us, here are some specific things you can pray for:
- Wisdom for the surgeons tomorrow
- Comfort and peace surpassing understanding for Eden
- Peace for Bryan - the images of the day are already haunting him, and he feels responsible. I know I would feel the same way, but I am trying to help him see that it's not his fault.
- Rest for all three of us tonight; tomorrow is going to be a long day
- That God would continue to pull us together as a family unit
10 comments:
Katie, Bryan and Eden . . . I don't know what to say - my heart breaks for what you are going through. You are all in our thoughts and we are praying for you many times a day. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do to support you through this time.
Thinking about you guys and praying for you all constantly. I know everyone is pulling for a speedy recovery for Eden. Dan's even praying for you guys all the way from Iraq. We love you guys, hang in there and know that we're here for you.
Oh my God Portia... I don't even know what to say. I've kind of been there - in the hospital with my baby, confused, scared, etc., but at the time I was more scared about me and JP and able to be less worried about Landon's actual physical pain or discomfort. What you and Bryan (and Eden) are going through would be so, so hard. I'm very glad you started with the first paragraph about Eden and the drum - while reading the rest, I was able to keep in mind that in the present she is feeling good enough to be "happily hugging" her daddy.
You sound amazingly strong and focused on all the right things. My heart goes out to Bryan and you all. Please keep us updated.
As I just finished reading your post to Rob, we both just sat here in silence, feeling every word and praying. My heart weighs heavily for you all. We will continue to pray.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Bryan and Eden. I can't really imagine what you must be going through, but I know it must be the hardest thing you've ever had to deal with. I'm really impressed by how you are holding it together for the sake of your family, but I hope you can rest on your community for support because that's too much to bear on your shoulders alone. Let us know if there is any way in which we can help or if there is anything else specifically we can pray for!
Sending our love and prayers from Nebraska. We are confident in our Father above to guide the doctors and hold you up as tomorrow comes. Wishing you good rest and strength.
We love you guys and are thinking about you and praying for all the things you need us to pray for. Our heart goes out to you in this time and we are so impressed at how strong you all are...as individuals AND as a family.
Praying for you today as she enters surgery. We love you and wish we could be there to support you in person.
Poor little Eden! Wow, I cannot believe it. I will keep your family close in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the surgery goes well and that Eden is spared from extra pain. Keep up the courage for your little girl- she will make it through all right and be back to her smiling self in no time!
o my dear friend, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so hard to understand. I am thankful though that God is helping you to persevere. What a testimony to His mighty hand in your lives. I love you. I am thinking of you and praying so much.
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